Monday, January 14, 2008

We R Prefeshunuls

You're in for a treat! One of my favorite rants, which always follow on from the universal theme, "People Are Idiots." I think from now on we'll just call them PAI rants. It'll be our little code. Don't tell.

Today we have that not-so-rara-avis, the micro-managing bride. These women (and, God help us all, their mothers) have every chance to see our work in advance of booking us. Any time a bride calls us who has not seen our work, we suggest they visit our very nice website. We have them visit our studio, where there is work on the walls and in albums. They have seen what we do, what we produce from our work, and they HIRE us. We're not big city expensive, but we're not cheap...this is our living, after all...and so one would think that the very fact that we get hired indicates a faith in our abilities.

Yeah. One would think, and that's what you get for thinkin', chum. Yes they love our work, yes we make beautiful images, and oh, yes, they are still going to tell us how to do our jobs.

Usually it is the LIST. Not just, as you might expect, the formal photos that we can be sure of taking as long as the people show up to deliver their gift and eat rubber chicken. That's okay; we tell the bride to give that list to the person who will drive you nuts if you don't give them something to do, someone who knows these people, which we, often thankfully, don't. Let him/her call them up, we'll arrange them and shoot 'em. (It's legal when we do it.)

No, our lovely brides-to-be want to tell us to get Uncle Harry and Aunt Darlene dancing together whilst sipping champagne and simultaneously smiling at the camera. Never mind that Uncle Harry doesn't drink, Aunt Darlene is in a cast and oh, yes, they aren't speaking. Never mind that we can either capture events, or have our heads buried in a list and miss them. Never mind that no one wants us to start telling them where to stand and how to act when they are trying to enjoy the party. And never mind that your contract tells you we don't work from lists!!

Folks, there is a quote from Red Adair that the DH loves: "If you think hiring a professional is expensive, wait till you hire an amateur." My corollary? If you do hire the professional, trust them to do their job.

Oh, and don't ask if they sell their 'negatives.' Oy.


MMario said...

h - but sometimes there are *necessary* phtos that the phtographers would have no clue about -

for example Family of the bride by age
family of the bride by height; relatives of the bride by geographical area;
relatives of the bride by generation...

just those simple little things that mean "family gathering" to the bride....
*grin* I'm surprised that the wedding photographers at my nieces' weddings survived the experience...

One company did mention they were amazed at the number of relatives the bride had - and half her uncles and aunts didn't make that wedding!

Rosemarie Buchanan said...

I prefer "Idiots R Us" (IRU), and yes, I can sympathize! There is a pandemic of blathering morons who can barely walk and chew gum at the same time, never mind drive and talk on the cell phone! (that one puts ME over the edge!). Even when you have repeatedly displayed extreme competence people still think they need to tell you how to do what you're already doing extremely competently! ACK!!

This is why we knit, yes? Speaking of which, I must go do some now, before I start thinking of all the IRUs who crossed my path today!


Diana said...

Rosemarie, I strongly suspect you're my sister from another mister. LOL But shouldn't it be "Idiots R THEM?"

Yes that's why we knit. My mom always says, "I don't know how you have the patience for that!" and I tell her it's because I have NO patience. This to a woman who is 65 and can't plant her butt for five whole minutes at a time.

Rosemarie Buchanan said...

OMG, we have the same mother! Mine's 72 and a "GOLD" lifemaster bridge player, NO moss on that rolling stone, let me tell you! She's a knitter, too, but the standard-issue knitter, sweaters, mitts, etc., and says the same thing to me "I don't know how you have the patience to knit lace!".

Patience has nothing to do with it. It's purely the desire to do something SO different that no one else can tell you how to do it!

And ego.

Just a little bit.


Your sister from another mister (I like that!),