Pearl Before Swine

I'm so upset that it's infuriating, which means you, my loyal minions, get to hear about it. This will be long, so get a few Super Bowl snacks early and settle in.

First some deep background. About twelve years ago, after having spent our honeymoon there, the DH and I decided to take my girls and my mom to Disney World for Christmas. We had a great time. The DH and I are especially fond of Epcot, and when we were in the Japan pavilion, we tried a bit of a gamble they had. You pay a small amount, pick an oyster, and you get whatever pearl is inside. You can see it here. I did very well out of the deal, getting a lovely silver-gray pearl that was about 7.25 mm, a nice size. I didn't care for any of the settings they had for it, so I carried it home and waited to know what I wanted to do with it.

A few years ago, I saw a necklace that I knew was similar to what I wanted to do with my pearl. It's three moons, full in the center, waxing and waning crescents to either side. Like this without the dangle bit. I wanted the full moon to be the pearl, and to have it set in silver. I just didn't know anyone to do it.

Forward a bit to last year. I found a seller on Etsy who was selling OOAK (one of a kind, if you aren't familiar) silver set onyx earrings. They were lovely, distinctive, and reasonable, and now they are mine. If I wear black, I wear these. I liked some of her other work too, and got a circle with a couple meaningful phrases for the DH for his birthday, to wear with his cross necklace. I ordered it in plenty of time, which was good, since she was backed up with Mother's Day orders.

So at the end of the summer, I approached....let's call her Twinkie because it will amuse me no end...Twinkie about doing my necklace. She said that she hadn't worked with a pearl before, but her 'mentor' knew how to do it, so she could learn the technique from her. I asked for a sketch, we hashed out some specifics, and after reminding her a couple of times to send me the sketch, I approved her drawing and agreed to her quote. I mailed the pearl to her in September, and Twinkie promised the necklace for the first week in November. It was my birthday gift to me.

I kept waiting to hear that the pearl had arrived safely; I knew the package had, but not that the pearl was okay. Twinkie had promised to tell me. After a week, I emailed to ask, and oh, yes, it was intact. Yay. I settled to wait.

And wait. Excuse after excuse. Her kids are sick...this was multiple times over months; must be the most unhealthy brats out there. When she missed the deadline, she was working on the how to do the setting; I should be patient. Then Christmas orders for wholesalers put me on a back burner; I should be patient. Then it was that this is very fiddly work, she can only do it when the kids are asleep; I should be patient. Then she needed different materials; I should be patient. Understand that at times weeks or a month would go by with no update from her and promised dates going by, but when I would email asking what was happening, I was being impatient and needed to understand the artistic process.

Meanwhile, I could see new pieces going up on her Etsy site, which ticked me off no end. She took my commission, couldn't get it done, but could do other work? So I wrote, again, and asked WTF? I said that I felt she needed to be more disciplined, because I had been more than patient, and she had made a commitment. I pointed out that I work in an artistic field too, so I knew what it entailed. She tried to bug out, offering to send back the pearl. I told her no, I'd waited this long, I liked her work, and I wanted my necklace. She committed to not working on anything else. Great...we're back on track.

Finally, at the beginning of last month, Twinkie tells me she has the cutout work done, and is concerned about the piece tilting forward on the chain. I suggest a solution (really? I have to think this through?) and she sends a picture of the necklace on her son. Looks fine. A little chunkier than I'd envisioned, but I like it. It just needs the pearl to be set. She's working on the the beading and I should have it in a week. Can I go ahead and pay for it? As soon as I see a photo of the finished piece, I reply, I'll be thrilled to pay. I should have that picture by the end of that weekend, says Twinkie.

No picture arrives. I wait a week, and email....from here I'll give you actual emails, because if I didn't read them, I wouldn't believe them myself. On Jan. 16th, I get this from Twinkie:

"Every time I log onto my computer, I forget to email you!!! Finally remembered!!!

I got my new materials on Wednesday, and have been working like crazy! I'm almost done - I anticipate having your piece photographed over the weekend so we can finalize our transaction and I can mail it out on Tuesday (Mon is a holiday, otherwise it would go then!).

Thanks AGAIN for your patience - I'm having a ball working on your piece and I REALLY hope that you like it! :-)"

The Tuesday to which she is referring was Inauguration Day. I heard nothing more, and finally yesterday, I emailed her:

"Okay, so shipping on the 20th apparently didn't happen...where are we?"

Late evening, Twinkie sends:

"I emailed you since I got the new material in...apparently you didn't get it? This new material is something that I've not worked with before, so I'm learning about it as I go along. I had to do 2 test settings with it before I dared to do the "real" one...all of this takes time. I have put in a LOT of hours on your piece...I am doing the best I can. Customized pieces that are TOTALLY different than one's 'normal' body of work take time. Please be patient with me...it really is the best I can do! Some days I just DON'T have the patience to work on tedious things...my kids are around while I'm working, I'm constantly being interrupted, etc. and when you talk about working with a flame, if I don't have the utmost concentration and capacity to work, it could result in a TOTAL meltdown and then I have to start over from square 1 and that would take LONGER!

Again, please have patience with me - I am really enjoying working on your piece - I am doing the best work I can, but it does take time! I will have it done soon! I really will!!"

There was no email. Nothing in my spam folder, and no reason for me not to get it, as I've gotten everything else. Now, keep in mind, this has been going on since September. The work is only different because she hasn't worked with a pearl before, but she's done other settings...I own some! So I respond:

"No, I hadn't received anything after being told it was a couple days away
from shipping.

I have to say, I think I've been very patient, given that I was supposed to
have this three months ago."

Twinkie's reply:

"Yes, you have...but as I explained...working with new materials, doing a custom job with a "stone" that I have not worked with before....you MUST be patient! Metalsmithing is a complicated and delicate craft! I asked you before if you want me to send the pearl back and I still will do that. I just can't keep getting totally stressed out when I get your emails - it's affecting my nerves! I am ALWAYS under the gun and I don't want to start NOT ENJOYING what I do because of the stress.

Again, I will ask you, even with all the time that I've put into your piece, do you want me to send back your pearl? If not, then you will have to be patient with me a bit longer! This project is SO MUCH MORE tedious and labor intensive than I EVER imagined! I CANNOT work like a machine - it is all "finesse work"!!!!!! Please believe me that I'm doing the best I can!"

At this point, I'm pretty pissed. I am REALLY good at reducing people, verbally, to a quivering mass of jelly and nerve endings. I'm a bit ashamed to admit I really, really like doing it. But I don't. Instead I send this:

"Okay, I am feeling scolded here, and honestly have to say, that takes nerve. I get emails telling me a couple days...a couple more, that you're working on nothing else...then I hear NOTHING, and *I* am chastised for not being patient?? I waited two weeks after the last email I received to even ask!

I cannot imagine why you're stressed. At least you know what is going on. I keep being left in the dark, and having to ask. I understand the intricacies of craft; we do it for a living. But I keep my clients informed if something comes up.

No, I do not want it back. I've invested months of waiting, and I don't want to have to start all over again. Just please keep me up-to-date."

This morning I awake to find this:

"This is obviously not working out for either of us. When you ask someone to do something that is totally original and totally different than their body of work, it is NORMAL for that piece to take months! The fact that I thought I could get it done sooner was unrealistic, but obviously you are not flexible enough to work with that.

After consulting with my husband, I have no choice but to send your pearl back because I am literally stressed to the max in dealing with you. If you cannot understand why I am stressed about working with you, then I'm sorry you can't see it. But I WON'T be harrassed like this any longer. You are hurting the way I feel about what I do and I won't sacrifice what I love to deal with you.

I'm sorry this didn't work out, but I will have your pearl in the mail to you as soon as I can."

I'm not sure how this is totally original...she didn't have to design the piece, after all. And I simply cannot believe the tone of this email. Could she BE more martyred? And she'll return my pearl 'as soon as she can????' I'm livid...and I sent this:

"So, in other words, you bit off more than you could chew, and rather than admit that, you're blaming me.

I have been more than patient, and you know it. You have made excuse after excuse, I've said, "Okay, I understand," you give me date after date when it will be ready, and then I'm evil when I wait for weeks and finally ask why I still don't have it, when the last thing I heard from you was that it was about to ship. Geez, the nerve of me. I'm told it's just shy of ready to go, I hear nothing, and wonder what has happened. How callous of me!

Your over-emotionalism is ridiculous. Either you're a pro, or you aren't. I have not harassed you AT ALL, and you know it. I've given you more than five months WITH the pearl, and that was after having to ask time and again to see a design. Face it, you try to use artistic temperament and family issues to cover the fact that you don't have the discipline to do what you have chosen to be your work. If you want to be an artist, wonderful. If you want to be a WORKING artist, you need to meet deadlines. It's not harassment to expect that from someone who presents herself as a pro.

If I do not have my pearl back, intact, by the end of the week, I will be contacting Etsy. I probably should anyway, to let them know my experience with someone who promises to do custom work, because I'd hate to see someone else fall into this trap."

I know this has been a long post. I suppose partly I want to be validated. Partly I want to vent. Partly I wanna rip her head off.

Now I'm back to the start, after wasting months. Anyone wonder why I'm gonna remove her from my Favorite Sellers?

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: This was old home weekend for me. Through a weird quirk of fate, I got to spend parts of the weekend with three girlfriends of mine from high school. Now, I live about 2 hours or so from the place I grew up, so I don't get this pleasure often. One is Karen, whom I haven't seen in about 17 years. Her eldest son is apparently quite a violinist, and was auditioning at a college a half hour south of us. We arranged to have dinner Friday with the second GF, Gabriele. Gabe lives locally, but we rarely see one another, both busy with family and work. Karen's sons who were along with us were impressed that there were no awkward lags, from reminiscing about It's Academic (a high school quiz program; Karen, a third member and I made the semi-finals) to catching up on all our families.

Saturday we decided on the spur of the moment to get the best burger around at Five Guys, and called our best buds Witt and Gary to come along. They'd eaten, but invited us to drop by afterward. We had a lovely time; we always do.

Sunday evening, Gabe, the DH and I got to see the third GF, Debbie, whom again I haven't seen in about 17 years. She sings with the National Christian Choir, a very talented group who came to perform in a local church. We didn't have much time together, but it was very meaningful to us. Deb and I grew very close our senior year, and the bond remains.

The Bad: I've been having some trouble with my left shoulder for about a year now. I think I initially hurt it lifting something too heavy (probably my purse!) with my arm hyper extended over the front seat to the back. It would feel better, then I would do something to it again. Eventually the pain was a low-grade hum that would occasionally shriek horrifically when I did some odd move, like try to shrug on a jacket. Unfortunately, I tolerate pain too well, so I tend to ignore it. Yes, I know it's dumb. My GP initially thought I'd just strained a muscle, suggested two naproxen sodium twice daily to help. Didn't. So he recommended I see the orthopaedic surgeon he would use himself, and I finally did today.

The Ugly: I have what they've diagnosed as a frozen left shoulder. To fix that, I would have to go under and have it manipulated. But in addition, there is a calcification on the shoulder bone that if left untreated will injure my rotator cuff, already weakened by the fact my shoulder is frozen. So I could put off having that done, but I'd rather have one anesthesia and one incredible amount of pain (insert whimpering here) than do it twice. I will then require, if I understood correctly, about a year's worth of rehab/exercise to try to improve and recover full function. AND if I don't treat the other shoulder with care, I could end up with similar issues there too.

Anyway, surgery will be at some time on the 12th, outpatient. Keep some happy thought for me okay?

And let the first be, "Good drugs!"

Scottie Fair Isle

The DH just amazed me this time. I asked him to take pictures and he did a wonderful job. No wonder he keeps getting commercial work.

This is the Scottie Fair Isle I mentioned two posts ago. I have to state up front that it was a blast to knit...I couldn't put it down. And then I have to tell you that this is a raw version. I have yet to pick up the provisional cast on and do the liner, then it should be washed and blocked. I couldn't stand to wait that long to show you. :->

The first chart consists of bones framing Scottie profiles separated by hearts. You can tell my tension isn't perfect - I needed to get better about not pulling the floats too tightly. But since this will go over my head, it'll be stretched.

Next the symbol of Scotland, the thistle. Guess where Scotties come from, boys and girls? Liz was so generous, selecting all the colors I love best.

Now we have little wheaties marching toward us. Scotties are black, wheaten, or brindles, which can run a gamut of colors. My mom's brindle, Raffy, looks like tiger stripes when he's clipped. His dad was a reddish wheaten.

More hearts here too, because we love our Scotties! I love the way Liz used the background color to frame their faces. Or, since it was Liz who is Scottish, colour.

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Following more bones, we have these Scotties, in the perfect stack position you'll see in dog shows. Note the smaller dogs you can just see above.

This was my only goof other than just not being used to Fair Isle yet. I should have changed from the light green earlier, but I didn't dislike it once I realized, and I hate to frog my knitting! So it's my design variation. Yeah, dat's it.

Bones are our next motif...I love the variations on a theme Liz created. Hope she thinks I did them a bit of justice.

The last charts were small, of course, and have a rows of Scotties coming and going, and one larger Scottie at the top. The white in it is a bit blown out but you can still see him.

I could have finished off with a bobble end, but I'm more a tassle kinda gal (don't go there!) so I did that.

And voila'! A hat any chickie would love. LOL. This was SO MUCH fun! I cannot wait for Liz's workshop to start. Now I'll learn everything I did wrong.

Let's have a hand for my beloved DH...he really outdid himself, didn't he?

Winds of Change

The true kickoff for the civil rights movement, the bus boycott, occurred while my mother was pregnant with me. Before I turned three, Birmingham AL was known as "Bombingham." I sat in my second grade classroom and watched the funeral of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Sadly, I cannot remember anything more of that great man but his death; I was too young.

Today I watched, and wept, as a man who is three months and two days older than I took the oath of President of the United States. For the first time, someone of my generation, raised in the same era I was, is our leader. This is enough to make anyone, I think, pause and reflect. But of course the larger story is the history that is made today.

Now, naturally, it's history when anyone takes that oath. But often history to us is a far away thing, stuff that happens while we have our attention on the day-to-day of living. Not today. Today over two million people traveled from all over the world just to be in the same city as Barack Obama. Today more people watched worldwide as the inauguration took place than had watch all previously televised inaugurations combined. Today, history is happening in the center of the lives of all of us. It's why I asked my daughter to make sure my five-year-old grandson watched, whether he wanted to or not. Because I know that, someday, he will be thrilled to tell his grandchildren that he saw this moment.

Listening to NPR cover the events on our way in to work, I heard an African-American woman who had traveled a great distance be asked why she felt that she needed to be in Washington D.C. today. She voiced her excitement, and then said something that stuck with me. She said (I paraphrase) that now we can teach our children differently than we had to before. For me, this is the culmination of the changes that began before I was born, and I rejoice.

I heard another man quoted saying that he hoped that, after all this, Obama will be able to live up to the hype. Yes, of course...we all do. But more, I hope we will be able to live up to the challenges his inaugural address has thrown open before all of us.

Can I get an "Amen?"

Look Ma! Two hands!

Yes, most of us do two hands for knitting, but not everyone can do Fair Isle knitting...or colorwork...or stranded knitting. I know the terms are not all interchangable, but I don't completely know what the difference in them is...yet.

I've mentioned Liz Lovick before with admiration and gratitude, and today's no different. After Liz designed a Fair Isle hat just for me to knit, it occurred to me that it would wonderful to ask her to teach her workshop to the EZasPi knitting group. Liz is no stranger to teaching, and has done a Shetland Lace workshop and a Gansey workshop for us before, as well as designing an Orkney Pi for the group.

Knitting will begin on this on January 30th, but if you're interested, I suggest joining the group now to get a list of items you'll want to start gathering. Trust me that Liz is an excellent teacher, and the opportunity to learn FREE from someone of her caliber is incredible. Something my Scots blood couldn't pass up for sure. :-) I hope you'll join us.

Definitions

A couple in the Midwest found that the courthouse was all booked up for their wedding. So, they chose to get married in a Taco Bell, spending about $200 all told for the ceremony and reception.

When they were asked why they chose, of all places, a Taco Bell, they said, and I quote, that they "had spent a lot of quality time there."

I'm thinking the newlyweds need the definition of 'quality' explained to them.

I'm just sayin'.

Fiesta Mittens

"Awesome! You are a sneaky devil, you know that? Here I was reading about them all along and didn't put two and two together...not by a long shot!

I just thought of something... I now have Fiesta Mittens to go with my maraca pen! Shake shake shake! Hot dog it was meant to be!"

What, you may ask, has cause this effusion of exuberance from SuzyG? Since you ask so nicely, I'll tell you. Although her birthday isn't until the end of NEXT month, she got a present from me today. I finished the Fiesta Mittens last night, and being the beneficent goddess that I am, she got them today, while she could get some wear out of them for winter.

I know that SuzyG reads my blog...I hear her at the front desk, snorting at my wit and pondering my wisdom (yes, I hear that too...the wheels in her head need a spot o'oil.). So I've been deliberately vague about for whom I had decided I was making these. About half-way through the second one, I decided I liked this pattern enough to knit it again, so I could give this set away. SuzyG was not only the next birthday on my horizon, but she gave me some lovely gifts for mine. Since she's a knitter too, I knew she'd appreciate the effort that went into them, so I was willing to give 'em up, even if they aren't perfect. They are my first foray into colorwork, or stranded knitting, and as such, I'm pretty pleased. Now I'm moving on to the Fair Isle hat that Liz Lovick designed for me!

There are those who will NEVER get another knitted gift from me. Have I ever mentioned my mother referring to the Hemlock Ring throw I made her as her 'giant doily?' Nope. She gets nothing handmade again unless it's food. THAT she would appreciate. My sister, OTOH, loved her Icarus shawl, or at least acted like it. She remains in my good knitting graces.

One interesting note: the first mitten was knit on dpns, the second using Magic Loop. The second is a tad snugger, not enough to really change gauge, but neater looking. The dpns, while I like knitting with them, were just so darn fiddly. I think I will knit my Fair Isle with Magic Loop too, using dpns when the stitches get very few, if then. And lest I forget, a big thank you to the DH for the mittens picture. I didn't have my digital, so he took them up to the studio and, rather than the quick shot I expected, did that lovely layout. He gets a kiss. :-*

Oh, and for the record, it's true. I am a sneaky devil. Busted.